I’m lucky I know I am, I have a fairly good routine with the boys and it’s been like that since I had my first. The last month or so has seen us in a proper routine with both boys where my youngest has a morning nap and both boys have an afternoon nap…yes a synchronised afternoon nap! How on earth did I manage it? I have no idea it just seemed to come together and I’m not going to rock the boat as it gives me a moment in the afternoon to do a quick tidy after the mornings antics and also prep tea without little hands wanting to “help” or being demanded by the youngest, plus occasionally I get to enjoy the delights of a cup of tea and maybe a quick browse through something other than Facebook.
Today however I pushed the boundaries. I don’t normally tend to venture too far with the boys when I’m on my own, if all hell breaks loose then theres only me to man the meltdown and I don’t really need that stress, today however I thought we would be a little spontaneous and head out in the car to our nearest farm/play area.
As soon as the youngest woke from his nice long morning snooze we bundled ourselves into the car with just some nappies and wipes and my purse…let’s be wild and have lunch out aswell (mistake no.1), as long as we get it early we can be on our way home and have the boys in bed for their nap in no time (wishful fairy tale thinking).
It all started so well, we wandered in, my eldest was captivated by the tower of pumpkins,
We bought some animal food, meandered round feeding the goats, ponies, chickens and sheep.
Took a selfie (obviously),
Passed a disused tractor and climbed aboard,
It was all good.
Then trouble started brewing, it was coming close to lunchtime and I knew I needed to start the winding down, feeding and then getting home process. I had not brought anything with me so I knew we had to beat the lunchtime rush otherwise we could be waiting forever to get some food and with two of them on my own that would spell disaster.
Well we didn’t make it for any lunch, it took me long enough to get my eldest off the tractor and convince him that lunch had to be eaten first before we went on the slides etc, as much as he repeated “yunch first then swide” he wouldn’t actually follow the instructions he was chanting but instead clung to the tractor as if his life depended on it….fortunately (for me) another child came along and the kind nature of my eldest meant he got down to let someone else play.
But it was too late there was already a queue at the cafe, we joined the queue (mistake no.2) and I hoped our wish (his wish) of chips, ham and beans would come true….it was almost meant to be when I saw one of the specials ‘honey roast ham, chips and salad’ up on offer – if I could swap the salad for beans I was onto a winner – however it was not meant to be. As my eldest tried to make a runner into the dining area of the cafe I swiftly grabbed him and steered him back to the queue *cue loud wailing. So now I’m stood in a queue with a wailing child, youngest in the sling farting away producing some pungent smells whilst onlookers glance my way and raise their eyebrows in sympathy/annoyance/surprise.
Once we had finally made it to the front, my eldest was clutching his sachets of brown sauce in anticipation, I enquired as to what the wait was on food (bearing in mind I’d been stood in a queue for 15 mins and it was only 12.15)
’30 minutes’ came the reply. My heart sank, we’d stuck out the queue, I hadn’t given in to the wailing and just gone home, I was hoping a simple plate of ham, chips and beans could solve the situation and I would at least know the boys were fed before I tried to get them home as fuss free as possible….plus my belly was rumbling, my shreddies at 7am were not enough to keep me going any longer!!
OK so plan B – maybe I could lure the boys with a simple ham or cheese sandwich…again at least I would know they had food in their bellies – did they have a simple sandwich already prepped….no they didn’t!!!
So I was stood at the front of the queue having endured 15 minutes of wailing only to find it was 30 minutes for hot food and there were no sandwiches! FFS!! Last resort – select a piece of cake and that would have to do (mistake no.3), I couldn’t just give up the wait in the queue for nothing. So we headed outside with our slice of cake and sat down to enjoy it. Let’s just say it wasn’t the best piece of cake, I think the wait had tainted the situation but thick overly sweet chocolate frosting that glued your mouth together whilst dry crumbs of cake threatening to choke you whenever you breathed didn’t make for a pleasant dining experience.
After a disappointing few mouthfuls both myself and my eldest gave up on the cake (if my eldest gives up on cake that’s saying something!!) To make the end of our spontaneous outing a positive one I fulfilled my eldest’s wish of “swide please mummy…swide. …swide please” (mistake no.4)
Seeing him laugh and smile erased the previous wailing in the queue and all was calm and happy once again.
Until I clocked the time AND noticed that my youngest was eating leaves.
I realised we HAD to get home…cue MELTDOWN.
Now I have to admit that I am very fortunate in that I don’t experience many difficulties and tantrums from my eldest, I have learnt many tricks and respected the routine enough to not have to deal with such atrocities but today I had my first experience of a limp yet screaming toddler, unwilling to stand or shut the f @#$ up.
I don’t know why but as each person passed the more conscious I became of the fact that I had lost all control over my child, this was not a nice feeling. At first I felt annoyance rise inside of me but I literally stepped back and waited it out….little bugger had swiftly moved from actual tantrum to just making the same wailing noise but no longer tantruming – how do I know this, well he heard an aeroplane so mid wail and scream he stopped and exclaimed “Oooh aeroplane. …where are you aeroplane?” Couldn’t spot it so resumed wailing and screaming ….little git!!
Once he finally decided that the floor was no longer a place to rest ones head he trotted on back to me, reached for my hand and off he went. WTAF!!!
Once we had gotten back to the car (after purchasing a sausage roll so he had something to fill his grumbly tummy) I calmly explained that his tantrum was not nice “not nice mummy” “no not nice” then my heart melted, he looked in my eyes and said “sorry mummy”. I mean come on!!! I could not be annoyed at this boy any longer, he knows the buttons to press.
So over an hour past naptime, an unsubstantial lunch and post meltdown we made our way home, if I could just get them into bed for a nap then all would be restored and calm once again.
Mr “no tired” was definitely goosed…
…still holding his sausage roll.
Did I make it back to put them to bed for a nap. …nope!
Was all restored and calm….double nope!!
Did both boys stay awake ALL afternoon…yep!!
Did I lose my cool….hell yes!!
Moral of the story,
- Respect the routine, always respect the routine, it may be restricting sometimes but it makes life much easier.
- Bring supplies no matter what, shitty chocolate cake will not suffice.
- If at first you don’t succeed don’t let it put you off, do it again, one day it will be great.
6.49pm one down, one to go – I WILL be indulging in a rum and coke after today and some chocolate!
Respect the routine…respect the routine….respect the routine (won’t be making that mistake again)